


“You didn’t make him into anything.”

by YesBothWays



Series: Bea and Allie (without the tragedy) [2]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7645867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesBothWays/pseuds/YesBothWays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation between Allie and Bea about Harry (by nature, this is a discussion of rape)</p>
            </blockquote>





	“You didn’t make him into anything.”

            Bea settled down on the couch beside Allie, a little before the call to breakfast. After only a few weeks as lovers, the charge between them felt electric. They didn’t touch, didn’t even look at each other, but the energy between them seemed to fill the room. They chatted with the others, but everyone seemed to want to leave them alone. Maxine just grinned at them when she came out to get a cup of tea and went into her room right away again, leaving them alone. Everyone’s door was closed, which was unusual.

            “You gonna’ let me slip into your room tonight?” Allie asked.

            “Hell, yes,” Bea said. “Although, eventually, we will have to get some sleep.”

            “Don’t most dogs nap during the day?” Allie joked.

            “My performance will suffer,” Bea said.

            “Not the performance I’m worried about,” Allie said and leaned over to reach out and tug at the collar of Bea’s sweater.

            “You should worry, you keep having me up all night like this.”

            “You’ve got heroic stamina.”

            “Well, I appreciate all the affirmation, however, unwarranted it may be.”

            “It’s not unwarranted,” Allie said, leaning back. “I think our sex is great.”

            “Yeah, me too,” Bea said, glancing over at Allie with a grin, then she added, “Sorry that I’m not really normal.”

            “What the fuck?” Allie said with a scoff of laughter. “What’s normal?”

            “I don’t know. Just… normal about sex.”

            “Uh, okay. You mean straight, then?”

            “No,” Bea said, laughing. “I just mean, there are probably things that everyone else likes, and I don’t.”

            “Like penetration?”

            “Yeah,” Bea said.

            Allie laughed long and softly.

            “Why the fuck would I care about something like that, Bea?” Allie said.

            “You don’t?” Bea asked.

            “No. I don’t care what we do. Would you?”

            Bea had to laugh a little at that. Allie was right. Bea really could have cared less what Allie did and didn’t want to do in bed. That wasn’t what it was about for her. But she figured anyone else would mind. She felt her brows furrowed. Why was it still difficult to think that way? Allie shifted a little on the couch and took Bea’s hand.

            “You know, you can talk to me about it sometime, if you want to. Don’t have to, though,” Allie said.

            “About what?” Bea said.

            Allie considered Bea’s expression for a moment. She seemed a little incredulous at first, like she didn’t know whether Bea was trying to have her on. She seemed to decide that Bea’s expression seemed genuine, though, and her own expression softened.

            “About your rape,” Allie said in a matter-of-fact tone.

            “I wasn’t raped,” Bea said with a bit of a dismissive laugh.

            “Okay,” Allie said to her, flatly, and thought for a moment. “How was it then?”

            “What? Sex?”

            “Yeah. Sex.”

            Bea’s voice got stuck a bit. She felt like they were having an argument, even though they weren’t. She didn’t like talking about this stuff and thought she might just force them to drop it. Allie was looking at her with an open, unassuming expression. So Bea thought for a second and tried to pull some words together.

            “I just didn’t like sex. And it would piss Harry off like mad.”

            “Okay. And?”

            “And what?”

            “That was it? He just got angry and that was it?”

            “We were married for fuck’s sake.”

            Allie made a “tssk” sound instead of responding to Bea’s statement.  

            “What an absolute fucka’!” Allie said with an angry, abrupt shake of her head.

            Bea shrugged at this. Allie pressed her hands into the couch and sat herself up more. She suddenly seemed wide awake and fully alert.

            “Okay… look. Bea, you know I’ve fucked a lot of men,” Allie said.

            “That doesn’t bother me any,” Bea said, very slightly taken aback.

            “I’m glad,” Allie said with a warm glance at Bea, before moving on to her point, “From experience, I know a lot about men, some of which I wish I didn’t know or could just forget now. You got unlucky, and you married a rapist. You didn’t make him into anything. That guy would always have got off on being able to make you have sex that you didn’t want more than he would have gotten off on making you come along with him. I know the type, Bea. They’re just fucked up. You can’t satisfy that kind of creep. Sex isn’t really what he wants. It’s power over someone else. Do you see what I mean?”

            Bea had every intention of dismissing what Allie said. The words set off series of thoughts in Bea’s mind in a flash of recognition. She meant to say something, but even a “fuck” wouldn’t quite come out. She nearly began crying and rubbed her face hard in her hands to hold it in. Allie reached to hold onto one of her wrists, as Bea tried to get her composure.

           


End file.
